My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years and generally have a good relationship. Before we got married, we agreed to remain childfree. However, after our wedding, she changed her mind and insisted on having a baby. Despite my reminders of our agreement, she continued to insist. I still strongly believed that I didn’t want any children. So, to avoid unwanted drama, I secretly had a vasectomy last year. I didn’t tell her because I felt justified since she had broken our initial agreement. A few months after my vasectomy, she came to me and proudly said she was pregnant. I was absolutely shocked and accused her of cheating, still without revealing my vasectomy. She thought my accusations were baseless and that I was losing my mind because I had been against having babies. Anyway, I insisted on a DNA test during her pregnancy, leaving her no choice but to agree. The big shock was when the results came out: it turned out the baby is mine, indicating that my vasectomy might not have been successful.I apologized repeatedly for accusing her of cheating but still didn’t admit to having had the vasectomy. Now, she’s incredibly distant and is considering divorce, believing I was more interested in accusing her of cheating than in the pregnancy. I’m unsure whether to tell her about having had a vasectomy without her knowledge to justify why I thought she had cheated. Would revealing this now make
things worse? How should we work through this, especially with a child on the way? I’m completely lost and need your guidance on
the best way to fix things. Sincerely,
Richard
