Ann is excited to begin the next chapter of her life. She’s moving into a new apartment with her boyfriend, Josh. But when they begin to cohabitate, she learns things about him that send her running.
I thought that moving into an apartment with my boyfriend would make us both grow up, ready to tackle whatever the world threw at us.
But I just couldn’t handle this.
Let me tell you everything:
Josh and I have been dating for two years. And it felt like a “forever” kind of love. To be specific, we met at a football game — at the hotdog stand. We exchanged numbers while I drizzled ketchup and mustard on hotdogs, and that was the start of it all.
So now, after two years of dating, Josh and I decided to take the plunge and move in together. I spent a week getting everything in order, color coordinating my clothes in their boxes. And I even got a new set of pots and pans, because I was serious about this. We were beginning our lives.
But then Josh hits me with the plot twist of our lives.
We moved in and settled on the couch with pizza and beer to celebrate our big day. Then, I asked Josh to clear the food away because we needed some order. I wanted to look for the bedding in our boxes piled around the house to make up our bed for the first night.
Right, cool — it all seemed fair enough to me.
But then, Josh says he cannot do that simple thing because he has a magical fairy doing all his chores — his Mom.
Apparently, Josh’s Mom, Mae, has been doing all the chores since Josh was a child. Other than taking his plate to the kitchen after eating, Mae had done everything.
Everything!
“I’m going to change my ways, Ann,” he told me with a straight face as he threw a pizza crust back into the box. “My Mom taught me that a woman should do these things.”
“But why hasn’t it come up before?” I asked him.
Because this was a major red flag. I didn’t expect anything from Josh, nor did I expect to throw all the chores on him. But I had hoped for help because we were living together now.
“Why would it have?” he asked. “We’re only living together now. And I can pay you per month. If you’d like.”
“Pay me to be your maid?” I asked, astonished.
“I wouldn’t put it that way,” he said, getting angry. I could feel it bounce off him.
I stood before him with my eyebrows raised and jaw on the floor.
Did I really want to live with a boy who wanted me to do everything for him? I thought to myself. Josh is just a man-child who doesn’t want to change.
Then, I took the pizza box and empty beer bottles and disposed of them in the kitchen, wondering what on earth I was going to do next. This was ridiculous on all fronts.
Anyway, we went to bed after that. And I tossed and turned for most of the night. I couldn’t live with this guy. It would drive us both absolutely crazy.
I texted my Mom while Josh slept. It was so late, so I didn’t expect her to reply, but she did — immediately.
Come home in the morning. We’ll get the rest of your things in the afternoon.
In the morning, I gathered all my important things, made a beeline for the door, and drove straight back to my parent’s home. I didn’t mind being a daughter in their home and living by their rules — rather than being a handmaiden to Josh.
I unpacked whatever I took, telling my parents everything as they exchanged amused glances. My Dad didn’t quite like Josh.
Then, later in the day, my Mom took me to the apartment, and we brought the rest of my things back. When we arrived, Josh was sitting on the couch playing a game on his laptop. None of his boxes had been unpacked.
“Where have you been?” he demanded.
I ignored him and continued to pack my things from the kitchen cupboards.
“Ann!” he called out.
“Listen, Josh,” I said. “You’ve got to grow up. I can’t be with someone who wants me to be their Mom at home.”
Safe to say that he didn’t take it that well and was all riled up, denying that he relied on his mother for everything.
But when I was all packed, my Mom and I headed out, closing the door on my chapter with Josh — even if it only lasted one night.
Was I wrong to move out so quickly? What would you have done?
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