A woman opened up about her domineering mother-in-law (MIL) and how she was turning her and her husband’s lives upside down. The MIL was affecting her husband’s behavior and decision-making to the point that he went back on what he and his wife had agreed on.
A woman shared on Reddit that she had chosen to call it quits with her husband after she went back on a decision they had made together. The woman complained about her mother-in-law (MIL) being overbearing, too close to her husband, and influencing his actions.
The woman shared that she and his husband were expecting their daughter in two weeks. The two had made financial plans by saving $26,000 so that she could stay at home for a year while nursing.
The couple’s bill for a year was $46,000. So, the savings would come in handy as the husband was making $3,000 per month and the woman wouldn’t be working throughout this time. However, these well-thought-out plans were under threat due to the woman’s mother-in-law’s (MIL) actions.
The woman explained that her MIL had “been trying to force her way in to our lives in ways that I’m not okay with.” Before the woman got pregnant, the MIL and her son were barely talking. As soon as the MIL learned that the woman was pregnant, she got uncomfortably close to her son.
Throughout her pregnancy, the woman had been contending with her MIL’s intrusive behavior, which had escalated to an intolerable degree. The MIL’s relentless attempts to insert herself into their lives, under the guise of familial affection, had become increasingly suffocating.
First, the MIL started calling herself a “boy mom” to justify her recent closeness with her son. She even started saying “My baby isn’t a baby anymore” when she learned her son was about to be a father.
Annoyingly, the MIL would bring his son food every 2 to 3 days a week claiming that he knows he misses his mom’s cooking. To make matters worse, she would only bring one serving, which was only enough for his son.
The MIL also kept buying the woman’s husband’s mom-son jewelry as much as the woman had told her that he never wears them. “She is 100% treating him like he is her husband,” complained the woman.
The MIL even calls her son any hours be it day or night so that he can go and help her around her house. However, when the son goes over, she suggests that they go for a mom-and-son date. The woman’s MIL also burges into their house uninvited and tells her how she likes her coffee, expecting her son’s wife to make it.
So, if all else wasn’t insane enough, the MIL had been trying to convince her son for at least 3 months to quit his job and go work with her so they could spend more time together. The husband works in search and rescue while his mom works at a medical rehab facility.
Before this, the MIL had tried to convince her son to purchase a house with him so that she could help raise his babies. The woman was quick to shut this suggestion down as soon as her husband started considering it.
The woman also reasoned with her husband about not quitting his job. She explained to him that working with his mom pays $10 an hour while his current job pays $13 an hour. Consequently, the woman would end up having to go back to work after giving birth because if her husband works with his mom, his income would go down by about half his current one.
Additionally, the MIL’s workplace pays biweekly and has no benefits, unlike her son’s job which offers full benefits. With these strong points, the woman was sure her husband wouldn’t quit her job. Her husband also assured her that she needed not to worry because he didn’t want to work with his mom.
However, two months later, the woman found out that her husband quit his job and applied at his mom’s workplace. He landed the job without an interview because his mom vouched for him. When the woman confronted him, he said, “Well my mom is getting older and she wanted me to work with her so we can hang out more before she passes.”
This reasoning shocked the woman as her MIL is only 61 and healthy. Feeling betrayed, the woman slept on her husband’s decision, and in the morning, she told him, she wasn’t going to be overruled by her MIL, especially since she refused to stick to her lane.
The woman gave her husband an ultimatum. She noted that wasn’t going to bow down to her husband or the MIL and asked him to choose as he was either going to do everything alone or they would work together as they mutually agreed.
“I told him I will take the money I saved ($23k of the $26k) and figure it out on my own,” added the woman. She asked her husband to leave and go stay with his mom. The husband was taken aback and expressed disbelief when the woman stood her ground.
He labeled her as unreasonable for failing to recognize the importance of his mother wanting to spend time with him as she ages. However, the woman was unwavering in her stance. In her eyes, his compliance with his mother’s demands was tantamount to allowing her to tear their lives apart.
The woman also explained to Redditors why she felt being a single mom was the better option and one she wasn’t afraid of taking. She noted that if her husband were to leave and they were to divorce, her financial burdens would significantly diminish, potentially by a quarter or more.
For the past five years, she had been shouldering the weight of his escalating student loan debt, with no end in sight. With the $23,000 she saved, she could cover her home and bills for a year and a half, providing a measure of stability and security for herself and her child.
Factoring in his expenses and debt, this $23,000 would not even sustain her, her husband, and a child for a year. Still, the woman emphasized that regardless of their separation, her husband would remain involved in their child’s life.
The woman also informed Redditors that the law was on her side as her husband had signed a prenup. So, the house, which was hers before they met, would remain in her possession.
She had also already withdrawn her $23,000 into her personal account. With her accounting expertise, the woman was confident in her clear paper trail and had consulted an attorney, ensuring her legality was solid.
Redditors supported the woman’s decision. One said, “Please go through with your plan and take the money and the kid and move far far away… This is so sick and crazy…” Another user commented, “He’s a bad husband. Simple as that. You and your child should be priority #1, not mommy. Honestly he’s a disgrace.”
More Redditors asked the woman to stay away from her MIL and her husband as they were only thinking about their needs, neglecting her and the baby, who was soon to come. They advised her that if she stayed in the marriage, the situation would only get worse.